Norm MacDonald ESPY Monologue

This clip combines my love of sports with my love of Norm MacDonald. And my love of awkward audience reactions. Ken Griffey Jr, I'm looking at you.

Cerebral? Really?

After moving in with my girlfriend, getting a dog and going to weddings almost every weekend for about two months, my summer is finally slowing down a little. And to celebrate, I went to an open mic last Monday.

I hadn't really prepared much for it. It was the first time that I wasn't using any new jokes and I just cobbled together 5 minutes from stuff I'd already written and performed, hoping to put together a real strong set. Whether I accomplished that or not is up for debate.

Here's the thing... considering the prep I put into it, I was remarkably comfortable on stage. I thought I was smooth, composed and had a good rhythm going. I didn't fuck anything up and never stuttered. I even ad libbed a little, which I had never done before. It felt pretty good. But for whatever reason, the crowd wasn't digging me at all. I have a joke about birds becoming religious terrorists because they've learned how to take down planes. Hell, since it seems like any video of me is on a permanent hiatus, here it goes...

"I don't like birds, but I do like foreigners... which is a little confusing, since they're both friendly, everywhere and have learned how to take down planes... In one fell swoop, birds have become religious terrorists. You see, they've always been the animal closest to God... and now they want the sky back. Apparently, a 747 is no match for a flock of suicidal seagulls. I know, I know... I shouldn't joke about that. I mean, birds are dumb, but even they don't believe in God."

I like that joke, I think it's pretty strong and has gotten a good reaction each time so far. This time, it was only a couple laughs from the back. I was frustrated and quipped "You guys read the news, right? You know that birds took down a plane? -silence- Of course you do, you're an educated crowd." At another point there was a lonely Nelson Muntz-esque "Ha-HA" after a joke and immediately mocked the laugh and said "I don't need your pity laughs." So yeah, didn't go as well as I hoped. I didn't come close to bombing, but my favourite jokes didn't go over.

After I walked back a couple other comics said they liked it. One even said "I think your stuff was a little too cerebral for this crowd." I didn't think so, until a guy who went up after me and started with this joke.

"So I take the bus a lot, right? And you know what happens on the bus, people ask for your seat. So this old lady comes up to me and asks if she can have my seat. Of course, I do what anyone would do, I said 'Shut up you old bitch and sit on the floor!!!" [uproarious laughter] Anyways, I guess I just have to continue to find my audience, because a crowd that laughs at that certainly is not it.

As for the shameful lack of activity on this blog, I've been having a hard time thinking of things to write about. At first it was easy since I was taking classes every week and had plenty of stuff to cover. But now, unless I'm going up on stage all the time (which I suppose I should be doing) I find myself with little to impart your way. One idea I've had is to start reviewing comedy albums, like a music critic. Like, one a month or week something. I dunno... just something to keep this thing going and make sure I am writing. I could easily write about 10 reviews of albums I already listen to, so it seems logical and hopefully even entertaining.

Until then, go back and read some old posts. Maybe you missed a joke or two. They're like leftover chili. Always better the second time around.

Just For Laughs and Louis CK

(Note: I started writing this on July 28th, then didn't finish it. Then I rewrote it today, August 14th, and Blogger is giving me credit for having written it on July 28th. I don't know how I feel about that. Or whether it even matters. Moving along...)

A few weeks ago Montreal hosted their annual Just For Laughs festival. Last I heard, it was the largest comedy festival in the world and always attracts some pretty big names in comedy. In fact, let me do a little research...

Well, I can only find the 2007 numbers right off the bat, since that was the 25th anniversary of the festival and they broke all their records, which were probably broken once again this year.

Number of indoor shows: 445
Number of outdoor shows: 1288
Number of artists: 1,682
Number countries represented: 19
Number of venues: 25
Festival attendance including ticketed and outdoor attendance: an estimated 2 million people

So that gives you all an idea of how big this thing is. All that to say, I went to see Louis CK on July 24th and was pretty much blown away. Not only that, but Jimmy Carr surprise opened for him with a quick 20 minute set before Louis took the stage. I'm a pretty big fan of Jimmy Carr and wouldn't hesitate to see him headline an event, so it was a real treat to see him open.

And then Louis CK came out and threw down 90 minutes of comedy. It was pretty impressive, to say the least. The first 70 minutes was all new material that I'd never heard, coming from someone who is putting out one hour specials every year. He recently went through a divorce, so his usual family themed (but definitely not family friendly) observations all had a new twist to it as he spoke about splitting up and being single again. And then for an encore, he went into an extended version of his "Everything is awesome, nobody is happy" bit that he did on Conan and is now a YouTube sensation. I posted it a few months ago, for anyone not familiar, just click on the Louis CK label to find it.

By the end of the evening my face hurt. The laughs were pretty much non-stop. I don't think a whole minute went by without cracking up. If that wasn't a big name comedian performing at the top of his game, then I don't know what is.

Slacking a little bit...

So it's been a long time since I've posted anything here, or anywhere, for that matter. Here's the scoop of what I've been up to lately and for the next little while...

I moved on July 1st and was really busy with that. I'm pretty much settled in now, although I've still got a few boxes to unpack and shelves to put up, it's at the point where I'm comfortable enough that I've lost motivation to keep unpacking. Why do work when you can sit and watch tv? Then, I've got two weddings to go to in the next couple weekends, including a few parties and seeing lots of friends visiting from out of town. And I'm still playing softball a couple times a week, primarily on the open mic nights.

Unfortunately, because of all this, I haven't had much time to do anything comedic lately. I suppose I should be making the time, but I've been sidetracked by that other stuff. I keep seeing my classmates going to shows (in some cases multiple times a week) and I can't help but feel like I'm really slacking off right now. I'm not even getting out there to support them because I've got something going pretty much every night.

I've gotta start putting other stuff on hold and making stand-up more of a priority. Which is easier said than done, but I might as well let everyone know that I know that I'm a slacker. Which should also come as no surprise to anyone who knows me.

Michael Jackson

I forgot to throw this in before posting the last entry, but this probably deserves to be addressed on it's own because it's the topic du jour and I'm nothing if not topical. I like Michael Jackson. Even though I'm more of a rock/alternative/metal kinda guy, my musical interests are all over the map, as I think everyone's should be. (As an aside, has anyone ever browsed your iPod and said "Wow, there's a lot of weird/different/strange stuff on here"? I think that's a good thing. I'd be disturbed by someone who has 30 gigs worth of one genre of music.)

Anyways, my point is that Michael Jackson made great music. His talent cannot be denied and is by all accounts not only a musical genius but he can be argued as the greatest entertainer of all time. I get it. But can everyone just calm the fuck down? If I read one more person's Twitter or Facebook update about him then I'm gonna start burning his albums out of spite. It's been 48 hours and I'm still getting "This is hitting me harder than I thought it would!" and "I still can't believe he's gone!" and "RIP MJ! we'll miss u :-("

And as far as the media's reaction to it all? I'll let Jon Lajoie handle that... and no, it's not too soon.

Adapting to a crowd

I'm moving in a few days, I've been packing pretty much all day and I've just gotta take a break for a bit. I figure watching Zack and Miri Make a Porno while cranking out a post oughta do the trick.

The other day I mentioned something about adapting to a crowd. I've been trying to read a lot of different opinions on stand up and one recurring theme is that the audience is having a conversation with you. You might be the only one talking, but there's a lot of give and take going on. If you pick up on their vibe, they'll tell you what they want to hear.

Now, it might be because I'm stubborn, but I've been of the opinion that if they don't laugh, then fuck'em. I know what's funny and if they don't like it, then they don't have a good enough sense of humour. But last week, I had a joke about religion that didn't land and then went through with another minute or two on religion. Well, that didn't really work either. Looking back on it, I could have easily bypassed it based on the reaction to the first joke. And I think that might be a good thing to do in the future. Except I don't really want to. I actually do think that if something doesn't work (unless I fuck it up, which is entirely possible and I'm pretty sure I'd notice, but didn't happen on Monday) then they're the problem, not me.

This is probably one of those things that I'll just figure out as I go along, but as of right now, I don't think I'm nearly comfortable enough to change my routine on the fly and I'd rather go out there and give what I think is my best stuff, regardless of reaction. Unless I bomb. I think if I ever bomb I might change my tune.

I'll take this moment to mention Matt Ruby. He's a New York comic who's been writing his blog for a few years and I've been reading his blog a lot since I started. If what I'm doing here ever ends up half as good as his page, that'd be fine by me. He also discusses the topic of tuning your set to the audience fairly often, including this post about a month ago: http://www.sandpapersuit.com/2009/05/adjusting-your-material-based-on-type.html

And now, back to packing. Or sleeping. Unfortunately not a combination of the two, because sleeppacking would be awesome. -Wake up- "Hey, everything's done! I must have packed it in my sleep!" -Self High Five-

Baby Steps

So I performed at the ComedyWorks open mic last night, as you may have been aware of. I'd say there were about 40 or 50 people there including a small handful of friends. Here are my thoughts on the evening... in exciting PRO and CON point form!!!

CON - I didn't do as well as I wanted to. Not saying that I bombed or anything, but I thought I'd be better.

PRO - Most of my biggest laughs came towards the end and I finished pretty strong.

CON - It was my first time on the stage there and two things threw me off. Firstly, the mic stand sucked. Maybe it was just me and I haven't learned how to use them yet, but it took a while to adjust it to my height and it kept slipping down while I was doing my set. Eventually I just said "Screw this thing" and took the mic out. By then I was already flustered and it made me skip over a joke. Also, the lights were a lot brighter than other ones I'd been in front of. I could see the first row and a couple side tables, but that was it. Overall, I don't think I was ever really comfortable and it effected me the whole 5 minutes.

PRO - I tried out some new material that went over well.

CON - I tried out some new material that really did not go over well.

PRO - I think I've figured out how to adapt to a crowd. They seemed picky (my friends said it was a tough crowd, I kinda disagree) and didn't react to what I thought was a great joke. And that led into an extended bit on the same topic. If a crowd reacts poorly to that again, I could just skip over the bit and go with something else. In fact, I'll probably expand on this whole point about "bad crowds" and "playing to the crowd" in another post.

CON - I cracked noticeably at least once because I stumbled over a word during a new joke. I hate cracking. Ruins the deadpan.

Overall, it was probably okay for the first time at a new place, and for trying new material, and for being only the second time I've ever been on stage with a paying audience. I didn't quite live up to my expectations but that's part of the learning experience.