I'm a Toys R Us kid.

On Sunday night I went to an Oscar Party. I used capital letters to stress the importance of this event. Because let me tell you something, that Oscar Party was a very important day in my life.

The friend who had the party usually has friends over for poker. We drink beer, watch Arrested Development and don't act very grown up. That night I thought we'd wager on the winners and drink beer. On the way there I called him:

Me: "Hey, you want me to pick anything up? Drinks? Snacks?"
Him: "Uhhh... no, that's okay. We're good for food. There's punch, but you'll have to buy beer if you want."
Me [delighted]: "Nice! Punch sounds great! See you soon!"

What I walked into was no mere poker night. There were dozens of people crammed into his apartment and we celebrated the most pretentious award show in the world at a party that was classier than the real thing. There was a 7 foot tall lamp shaped like Oscar. There was a projection screen for the telecast and a monitor showing real time updates of who had picked the most winners. And his place was probably better catered than the actual ceremony. Sumptuous only begins to describe the food. No one could say enough about the hosts. It really was a great time. We even had a chocolate fountain. Absolutely a momentous first in my life, but not why this was evening was so important.

It was the first time I was at a party with babies. Not just any babies. My friend's babies. Babies that my friends have. My friends have babies and brought them to an Oscar Party. A couple of us looked at each other, realizing this was only the first of many get togethers involving babies. Everything has changed.

And then the hosts announce that they are engaged. Hugs, kisses and scotch all around.

Me: "You know what, I suspected it."
Him: "Really??? Why?"
Me: "You asked for my address a couple weeks ago. I thought it'd be for invites."
Him: "That was for this party. You didn't check your mailbox?"
Me: "Oh. Not really. I, uh, don't get much mail." (If I HAD checked my mail, like I did when I got home, I would have known what kind of fabulous shindig it was going to be.)

To clarify, I'm 27 years old. I really should have been expecting this. Some of my friends are married and several more are engaged. I was also aware that a few friends (and friends of friends) were pregnant. And that some of them even had babies. I just wasn't expecting to be watching a tuxedo clad Hugh Jackman dance around while eating a chorizo-stuffed-date-wrapped-in-bacon and trying not to spill my punch on the smiling babies trying to walk next to me when I woke up Sunday morning.

Don't get me wrong. I think reproducing is pretty cool. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's just a little snooty of my friends to be bringing them to parties, that's all. Bunch of showoffs. It's like they're just daring me to kidnap them. Did I say that out loud?