Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I'm a Toys R Us kid.
On Sunday night I went to an Oscar Party. I used capital letters to stress the importance of this event. Because let me tell you something, that Oscar Party was a very important day in my life.
The friend who had the party usually has friends over for poker. We drink beer, watch Arrested Development and don't act very grown up. That night I thought we'd wager on the winners and drink beer. On the way there I called him:
Me: "Hey, you want me to pick anything up? Drinks? Snacks?"
Him: "Uhhh... no, that's okay. We're good for food. There's punch, but you'll have to buy beer if you want."
Me [delighted]: "Nice! Punch sounds great! See you soon!"
What I walked into was no mere poker night. There were dozens of people crammed into his apartment and we celebrated the most pretentious award show in the world at a party that was classier than the real thing. There was a 7 foot tall lamp shaped like Oscar. There was a projection screen for the telecast and a monitor showing real time updates of who had picked the most winners. And his place was probably better catered than the actual ceremony. Sumptuous only begins to describe the food. No one could say enough about the hosts. It really was a great time. We even had a chocolate fountain. Absolutely a momentous first in my life, but not why this was evening was so important.
It was the first time I was at a party with babies. Not just any babies. My friend's babies. Babies that my friends have. My friends have babies and brought them to an Oscar Party. A couple of us looked at each other, realizing this was only the first of many get togethers involving babies. Everything has changed.
And then the hosts announce that they are engaged. Hugs, kisses and scotch all around.
Me: "You know what, I suspected it."
Him: "Really??? Why?"
Me: "You asked for my address a couple weeks ago. I thought it'd be for invites."
Him: "That was for this party. You didn't check your mailbox?"
Me: "Oh. Not really. I, uh, don't get much mail." (If I HAD checked my mail, like I did when I got home, I would have known what kind of fabulous shindig it was going to be.)
To clarify, I'm 27 years old. I really should have been expecting this. Some of my friends are married and several more are engaged. I was also aware that a few friends (and friends of friends) were pregnant. And that some of them even had babies. I just wasn't expecting to be watching a tuxedo clad Hugh Jackman dance around while eating a chorizo-stuffed-date-wrapped-in-bacon and trying not to spill my punch on the smiling babies trying to walk next to me when I woke up Sunday morning.
Don't get me wrong. I think reproducing is pretty cool. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's just a little snooty of my friends to be bringing them to parties, that's all. Bunch of showoffs. It's like they're just daring me to kidnap them. Did I say that out loud?
The friend who had the party usually has friends over for poker. We drink beer, watch Arrested Development and don't act very grown up. That night I thought we'd wager on the winners and drink beer. On the way there I called him:
Me: "Hey, you want me to pick anything up? Drinks? Snacks?"
Him: "Uhhh... no, that's okay. We're good for food. There's punch, but you'll have to buy beer if you want."
Me [delighted]: "Nice! Punch sounds great! See you soon!"
What I walked into was no mere poker night. There were dozens of people crammed into his apartment and we celebrated the most pretentious award show in the world at a party that was classier than the real thing. There was a 7 foot tall lamp shaped like Oscar. There was a projection screen for the telecast and a monitor showing real time updates of who had picked the most winners. And his place was probably better catered than the actual ceremony. Sumptuous only begins to describe the food. No one could say enough about the hosts. It really was a great time. We even had a chocolate fountain. Absolutely a momentous first in my life, but not why this was evening was so important.
It was the first time I was at a party with babies. Not just any babies. My friend's babies. Babies that my friends have. My friends have babies and brought them to an Oscar Party. A couple of us looked at each other, realizing this was only the first of many get togethers involving babies. Everything has changed.
And then the hosts announce that they are engaged. Hugs, kisses and scotch all around.
Me: "You know what, I suspected it."
Him: "Really??? Why?"
Me: "You asked for my address a couple weeks ago. I thought it'd be for invites."
Him: "That was for this party. You didn't check your mailbox?"
Me: "Oh. Not really. I, uh, don't get much mail." (If I HAD checked my mail, like I did when I got home, I would have known what kind of fabulous shindig it was going to be.)
To clarify, I'm 27 years old. I really should have been expecting this. Some of my friends are married and several more are engaged. I was also aware that a few friends (and friends of friends) were pregnant. And that some of them even had babies. I just wasn't expecting to be watching a tuxedo clad Hugh Jackman dance around while eating a chorizo-stuffed-date-wrapped-in-bacon and trying not to spill my punch on the smiling babies trying to walk next to me when I woke up Sunday morning.
Don't get me wrong. I think reproducing is pretty cool. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's just a little snooty of my friends to be bringing them to parties, that's all. Bunch of showoffs. It's like they're just daring me to kidnap them. Did I say that out loud?
Sunday, February 22, 2009
"It's the final countdown!" (cue awesome synthesizer)
Well, I'm a week away from my first stand-up class, if I can even call it that, and I have no idea what to expect from it. I discovered the course while checking out upcoming shows at a comedy club. Here's the ad:
"So you think you're funny? Learn stand-up from a pro Joey Elias and The Nest present a 20-hour course (10 weeks) Sunday evenings beginning March 1st $200.00 / space is limited"
Joey Elias is a pretty well known local comic and is actually quite funny. I've had the pleasure of seeing him perform and remember listening to an afternoon radio show he used to co-host on The Team 990, Montreal's sports radio station. That must have been 7 or 8 years ago. Now he's hosting The Comedy Hour on CJAD every weekday night at 11 PM. He's described it as a "Comedy Writing Course" on the air and last I heard there was only one spot left. Them spots are selling like hotcakes, I tells ya.
Either way, I didn't think too hard before signing up for the course. If anything I'm sure it'll be a good time and I'll meet some interesting people. In the meantime, I've been reading over stuff that I've previously written, just to try and have some ideas to work with on the first day. Hopefully there's no pop quiz.
I hope you enjoyed the clip of Anthony Jeselnik I posted. There isn't much I've found out about him, but that set is borderline genius as far as I'm concerned. Definitely worthy of being the first one on my blog. I'm going to keep posting videos of my favourite comedians, whether they be well known or just something I stumbled upon.
"So you think you're funny? Learn stand-up from a pro Joey Elias and The Nest present a 20-hour course (10 weeks) Sunday evenings beginning March 1st $200.00 / space is limited"
Joey Elias is a pretty well known local comic and is actually quite funny. I've had the pleasure of seeing him perform and remember listening to an afternoon radio show he used to co-host on The Team 990, Montreal's sports radio station. That must have been 7 or 8 years ago. Now he's hosting The Comedy Hour on CJAD every weekday night at 11 PM. He's described it as a "Comedy Writing Course" on the air and last I heard there was only one spot left. Them spots are selling like hotcakes, I tells ya.
Either way, I didn't think too hard before signing up for the course. If anything I'm sure it'll be a good time and I'll meet some interesting people. In the meantime, I've been reading over stuff that I've previously written, just to try and have some ideas to work with on the first day. Hopefully there's no pop quiz.
I hope you enjoyed the clip of Anthony Jeselnik I posted. There isn't much I've found out about him, but that set is borderline genius as far as I'm concerned. Definitely worthy of being the first one on my blog. I'm going to keep posting videos of my favourite comedians, whether they be well known or just something I stumbled upon.
Monday, February 16, 2009
...but why?
Throughout my childhood and most of high school, I was a pretty quiet kid. I always sat in the back of the bus, the corner of the classroom and only spoke when spoken to. It's not so much that I was shy, I just preferred to watch. You learn more by observing. Then towards the end of high school and heading into CEGEP (a two year stint between high school and university in Quebec) I became a little more comfortable being a part of the action, whether at school or otherwise. Slowly but surely, I began to enjoy being the source of entertainment for my friends, either intentionally or not.
Looking back on that time it might have seemed like I was looking for attention throughout my two years in CEGEP. At various times my hair was blond, red or blue. I sported every conceivable style of facial hair and threw in a couple piercings for good measure. I wore bright and colourful clothes just because if I saw someone else wearing them it'd probably make me laugh. It wasn't really a rebellion. I wasn't trying to make a statement with anything I did. It simply amused me. In some classes, I would throw out one-liners every chance I got. Even a couple teachers would pause and say "Good one". Then in some internet survey that was emailed around, a few people wrote that I was the funniest person they knew. I was probably a little too proud of that. Those emails might as well have been a trophy for me.
I also had the pleasure of growing up in a large family where poking fun at each other isn't just the norm, it's practically our pastime. Several of my most cherished memories are from family reunions. Tales of mischief are requisite conversation for any gathering of family and friends. Even our ritual Sunday dinner rarely goes by without my dad telling us stories that happened 30 years ago. Making fun of people and being made fun of is just my idea of a good time.
During a particularly jolly Christmas visit a few years ago, my cousins came over to our house. My cousin's girlfriend had never been to our place before and I overheard her say to him something along the lines of "Everyone's so happy here, it's just constant laughter! It's crazy!". I immediately thanked her for the compliment and to this day think it was one of the nicest things anyone's ever said about me or my family.
What it all boils down to is, I'm just a sucker for comedy. I'm just as likely to be trying to lighten the mood as I am to be laughing out loud alone in my house.
Laughter is the soundtrack to my life and I want to crank up the volume.
Looking back on that time it might have seemed like I was looking for attention throughout my two years in CEGEP. At various times my hair was blond, red or blue. I sported every conceivable style of facial hair and threw in a couple piercings for good measure. I wore bright and colourful clothes just because if I saw someone else wearing them it'd probably make me laugh. It wasn't really a rebellion. I wasn't trying to make a statement with anything I did. It simply amused me. In some classes, I would throw out one-liners every chance I got. Even a couple teachers would pause and say "Good one". Then in some internet survey that was emailed around, a few people wrote that I was the funniest person they knew. I was probably a little too proud of that. Those emails might as well have been a trophy for me.
I also had the pleasure of growing up in a large family where poking fun at each other isn't just the norm, it's practically our pastime. Several of my most cherished memories are from family reunions. Tales of mischief are requisite conversation for any gathering of family and friends. Even our ritual Sunday dinner rarely goes by without my dad telling us stories that happened 30 years ago. Making fun of people and being made fun of is just my idea of a good time.
During a particularly jolly Christmas visit a few years ago, my cousins came over to our house. My cousin's girlfriend had never been to our place before and I overheard her say to him something along the lines of "Everyone's so happy here, it's just constant laughter! It's crazy!". I immediately thanked her for the compliment and to this day think it was one of the nicest things anyone's ever said about me or my family.
What it all boils down to is, I'm just a sucker for comedy. I'm just as likely to be trying to lighten the mood as I am to be laughing out loud alone in my house.
Laughter is the soundtrack to my life and I want to crank up the volume.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Introductions
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. My name is Jesse G and every so often, I'll think to myself "I wanna be a stand-up comic. I'm pretty funny. I'm not afraid of the spotlight. And it sure sounds like a lot more fun than anything else I've been doing the past 10 years."
Now, I know that it's not that simple. I know that it's damned hard to stand up in front a group of people who are expecting to laugh, who have paid to laugh, and make them laugh. I am absolutely not as good I think I would be. I know this.
However, I just can't help myself. I think I could get the hang of it if I'd only go out there and give it a shot. Call it confidence or call it naivete, but I really do believe I'd be able to at least perform a decent 5 minutes of comedy. Maybe even several 5 minutes of comedy.
Between the few weeks where I am consumed by the idea of being a comic until the day I convince myself I'm an idiot, I've carried around a notebook to jot down anything I think is funny. Sometimes I'll sit down at a cafe and write pages on a single subject. I've also recorded myself and listened to it weeks later. Usually, half of what I say is no longer funny... at least to me. And of course the other half really isn't all that bad... at least to me. Time to find out once and for all if it's just me.
All of this to say, that this blog will chronicle my attempt at Stand-Up Comedy. This whole experiment may only last a few months, culminating with a painful 5 minute routine on Open Mic Night where I realize everything I believe in is wrong. Or I may exceed my wildest expectations and actually earn a single dollar by way of laughter. This page will also serve as a regular old journal and may continue in that capacity once my dreams are crushed. I've always enjoyed writing and really have no idea why I don't write more often.
I really don't know what to expect at this point, but the minute I've written this and posted it for others to see, the commitment is made and there's no turning back...
That and I've already plunked down $200 on a stand-up crash course.
Now, I know that it's not that simple. I know that it's damned hard to stand up in front a group of people who are expecting to laugh, who have paid to laugh, and make them laugh. I am absolutely not as good I think I would be. I know this.
However, I just can't help myself. I think I could get the hang of it if I'd only go out there and give it a shot. Call it confidence or call it naivete, but I really do believe I'd be able to at least perform a decent 5 minutes of comedy. Maybe even several 5 minutes of comedy.
Between the few weeks where I am consumed by the idea of being a comic until the day I convince myself I'm an idiot, I've carried around a notebook to jot down anything I think is funny. Sometimes I'll sit down at a cafe and write pages on a single subject. I've also recorded myself and listened to it weeks later. Usually, half of what I say is no longer funny... at least to me. And of course the other half really isn't all that bad... at least to me. Time to find out once and for all if it's just me.
All of this to say, that this blog will chronicle my attempt at Stand-Up Comedy. This whole experiment may only last a few months, culminating with a painful 5 minute routine on Open Mic Night where I realize everything I believe in is wrong. Or I may exceed my wildest expectations and actually earn a single dollar by way of laughter. This page will also serve as a regular old journal and may continue in that capacity once my dreams are crushed. I've always enjoyed writing and really have no idea why I don't write more often.
I really don't know what to expect at this point, but the minute I've written this and posted it for others to see, the commitment is made and there's no turning back...
That and I've already plunked down $200 on a stand-up crash course.
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