It's only a few more days until my class' graduation show and I'm feeling pretty good. Last Sunday was our last workshop and Joey couldn't make it, so the inmates ran the asylum. Those of us who showed up gave a quick run through of our sets and got a couple minutes extra to play around with anything else we've been working on. No pressure or critiquing, just some stage time and listening to everyones jokes for the eighth time.
I wasn't actually planning on performing that night. I thought there would be a lot more socializing and hanging out, but everyone else was pretty eager to rehearse one more time. Towards the end someone asked how many people were left and my name was thrown out there, so I just went with it. I wasn't really prepared and while I think it showed a little, I didn't really screw anything up. I might have even been more relaxed than usual because I thought to myself, "Ah fuck it. Let's see what happens." once I was coaxed on stage. I also threw out a few one liners I'd written and they actually went over very well. I definitely know what I'll be closing with now. Afterwards someone said to me "So, you're doing Steven Wright stuff now?" I wouldn't go quite that far, but it was a nice comment.
Also of note, I still haven't hit an open mic. I was going to today, but seems like I miscalculated how quickly those nights get booked up. Oops. On the bright side, this fulfills my desire to have my first real performance be in front of a packed club. Looks like I'm going big, or going home.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
One-on-one with Joey Elias
I had my alone time with Joey on Sunday and 10 minutes wasn't nearly enough time to get into everything I wanted to. After very little critiquing about my set, we started talking about any random thoughts on comedy that I had. There were other people waiting to chat though, so we had to wrap it up. He said I could email him any time if I have questions, but it's not nearly the same as a free flowing dialogue. Once I started asking about one liners and talking about the whole experience of taking the class, I really wanted to just sit there and keep going.
On the topic of my material, he really didn't have any negative stuff to say, which I guess I'll finally accept as a good thing. He noted how my character on stage is very even-keeled, with a touch of sarcasm. That's pretty much just an extension of me, so I've got the "be yourself" bases covered. He also said that I've got some good similes and that I could be probably be a little edgier, at least, that's the natural evolution he sees in what I'm doing.
He also remarked that I seemed comfortable on stage, when in reality there's still a several moments when I'm not. He gave me a quick tip on microphone technique that I'll probably use and also compared the stage to a batters box, since I was wearing my Expos hat. He said not to start your set until your comfortable and in your stance. Don't just walk up and start talking as you get to the mic. Have the ump call time, get set and go when you're ready.
I told him I was expecting a little harsher criticism after he told us all he'd revert to Simon Cowell mode. He said that honestly, he didn't think I needed it and suggested maybe going to an open mic before the show. I still haven't been to one yet, and even though I know I should, I also wanted to take my driving test without taking any lessons. I like the idea of it being my first time in front of a paying audience. But then afterwards while talking with some classmates, I agreed to hit an open mic the Wednesday before our show with a couple people.
I also discovered a week ago that my softball schedule revolves around Sunday, Monday and Wednesday nights. Mondays and Wednesdays are the nights of the two major open mics in town. I'll have to pull off some fancy time management if I want to fit in everything I want to this summer.
On the topic of my material, he really didn't have any negative stuff to say, which I guess I'll finally accept as a good thing. He noted how my character on stage is very even-keeled, with a touch of sarcasm. That's pretty much just an extension of me, so I've got the "be yourself" bases covered. He also said that I've got some good similes and that I could be probably be a little edgier, at least, that's the natural evolution he sees in what I'm doing.
He also remarked that I seemed comfortable on stage, when in reality there's still a several moments when I'm not. He gave me a quick tip on microphone technique that I'll probably use and also compared the stage to a batters box, since I was wearing my Expos hat. He said not to start your set until your comfortable and in your stance. Don't just walk up and start talking as you get to the mic. Have the ump call time, get set and go when you're ready.
I told him I was expecting a little harsher criticism after he told us all he'd revert to Simon Cowell mode. He said that honestly, he didn't think I needed it and suggested maybe going to an open mic before the show. I still haven't been to one yet, and even though I know I should, I also wanted to take my driving test without taking any lessons. I like the idea of it being my first time in front of a paying audience. But then afterwards while talking with some classmates, I agreed to hit an open mic the Wednesday before our show with a couple people.
I also discovered a week ago that my softball schedule revolves around Sunday, Monday and Wednesday nights. Mondays and Wednesdays are the nights of the two major open mics in town. I'll have to pull off some fancy time management if I want to fit in everything I want to this summer.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
The Art of Moviewatching
A friend and I were arguing about whether it's okay to see a movie alone. He routinely goes to the theater by himself and can't fathom how anyone thinks this is a strange thing. Most other people think that seeing a movie by yourself is just plain wrong. "Why do you need someone to see a movie? Do you need someone at home when you watch a movie? You get your popcorn, your Nestle Iced Tea and you enjoy the movie. It's the most natural thing in the world." He makes a good point... or does he?
I actually fall somewhere in the middle of the argument. I probably could see a movie alone. In fact, I once did. A few years ago I found myself downtown with a couple hours to kill before meeting friends. So I decided to see a movie by myself. Jurassic Park 3. And I couldn't help but feel ashamed while I sat there all alone. As did everyone else. The movie was that bad. But in a more accurate way, I had more to feel ashamed of. I had no one to lean over to during the previews and say "I can't believe they made a sequel to that!" or to repeat all my favourite lines during the movie immediately after hearing them.
Aside from the awkward factor, it's a terrible waste of space. You're essentially taking up 3 seats all to yourself. No one will ever sit beside a stranger in a theater unless absolutely necessary. So if you're on your own, that's really 3 seats you're taking up. In other words, you're using only 33% of your socially allotted space. Also to take into consideration is the fact that you're likely to be given more than a 1 seat buffer by anyone in your row. Either they'll assume you have a friend in the lobby or they don't want to sit near the loser who's by himself out of fear you'll start talking to them or, heaven forbid, the movie itself. Of course, the more people in your group, the more efficient your space ratio becomes. For example, a group of 6 people works at a fantastic 75% clip. The only respectable option for a solo viewer is to take an aisle seat. Its benefits are two fold: a) You are taking up the same percentage of seats as a couple and b) You can make a bee line to the exit once the movie's over, to avoid eye contact with anyone who figured out you have no friends.
And then, when you walk out of the theater, you run into someone you know coming out of another movie that just finished. You exchange pleasantries until she asks what movie you saw. You say "Fast & Furious". She laughs nervously and asks who you managed to drag to that. You tell her you saw it alone. She once again laughs nervously. There's an uncomfortable pause... and then she abruptly says she'll see you around.
That's why we don't see movies alone.
I actually fall somewhere in the middle of the argument. I probably could see a movie alone. In fact, I once did. A few years ago I found myself downtown with a couple hours to kill before meeting friends. So I decided to see a movie by myself. Jurassic Park 3. And I couldn't help but feel ashamed while I sat there all alone. As did everyone else. The movie was that bad. But in a more accurate way, I had more to feel ashamed of. I had no one to lean over to during the previews and say "I can't believe they made a sequel to that!" or to repeat all my favourite lines during the movie immediately after hearing them.
Aside from the awkward factor, it's a terrible waste of space. You're essentially taking up 3 seats all to yourself. No one will ever sit beside a stranger in a theater unless absolutely necessary. So if you're on your own, that's really 3 seats you're taking up. In other words, you're using only 33% of your socially allotted space. Also to take into consideration is the fact that you're likely to be given more than a 1 seat buffer by anyone in your row. Either they'll assume you have a friend in the lobby or they don't want to sit near the loser who's by himself out of fear you'll start talking to them or, heaven forbid, the movie itself. Of course, the more people in your group, the more efficient your space ratio becomes. For example, a group of 6 people works at a fantastic 75% clip. The only respectable option for a solo viewer is to take an aisle seat. Its benefits are two fold: a) You are taking up the same percentage of seats as a couple and b) You can make a bee line to the exit once the movie's over, to avoid eye contact with anyone who figured out you have no friends.
And then, when you walk out of the theater, you run into someone you know coming out of another movie that just finished. You exchange pleasantries until she asks what movie you saw. You say "Fast & Furious". She laughs nervously and asks who you managed to drag to that. You tell her you saw it alone. She once again laughs nervously. There's an uncomfortable pause... and then she abruptly says she'll see you around.
That's why we don't see movies alone.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
The camera puts on 10 pounds...
...and makes everything less funny.
As I mentioned before, last class there was someone who taped everyone's set. And a couple days ago I finally got to watch myself on stage. It was moderately painful. I have very little experience performing in front of a camera. (That's what she said.) Amateur, would be the word that comes to mind. To make matters worse, there were only 20 people in the club and they'd all heard different variations of my set for the past month and a half. Since we've all heard each others material several times now, our workshops have taken on the context of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. "Hi. My name is Jesse and I haven't told a joke in 3 weeks." And at the end everyone claps and says "Good job. That was nice."
I suppose the reactions were basically what I'd heard on the audio I'd recorded myself, but it just looks worse when you can tell how terrible the atmosphere was. It looks like someone performing at a real club with no one there and fewer laughs, even for the good stuff. Someone commented on their video "This is my impression of doing stand-up for the hearing impaired."
The one thing I really wasn't happy with was my stage presence. I need to work on that. I can't put my finger on it yet, but I just looked too cautious, like I was trying not to break something. I thought I was comfortable on stage but it doesn't show. I'll figure it out.
And I'm sorry for not actually posting the video, but I'm not nearly ready to show it. I want the first video of myself posted here to be my first show in front of a real audience. Hopefully it'll also stand alone as something I'd be want to post regardless. Once I've got a few videos under my belt, I'll put it up and you can all bask in my humble beginnings.
Countdown to the show... T-Minus 19 Days...
As I mentioned before, last class there was someone who taped everyone's set. And a couple days ago I finally got to watch myself on stage. It was moderately painful. I have very little experience performing in front of a camera. (That's what she said.) Amateur, would be the word that comes to mind. To make matters worse, there were only 20 people in the club and they'd all heard different variations of my set for the past month and a half. Since we've all heard each others material several times now, our workshops have taken on the context of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. "Hi. My name is Jesse and I haven't told a joke in 3 weeks." And at the end everyone claps and says "Good job. That was nice."
I suppose the reactions were basically what I'd heard on the audio I'd recorded myself, but it just looks worse when you can tell how terrible the atmosphere was. It looks like someone performing at a real club with no one there and fewer laughs, even for the good stuff. Someone commented on their video "This is my impression of doing stand-up for the hearing impaired."
The one thing I really wasn't happy with was my stage presence. I need to work on that. I can't put my finger on it yet, but I just looked too cautious, like I was trying not to break something. I thought I was comfortable on stage but it doesn't show. I'll figure it out.
And I'm sorry for not actually posting the video, but I'm not nearly ready to show it. I want the first video of myself posted here to be my first show in front of a real audience. Hopefully it'll also stand alone as something I'd be want to post regardless. Once I've got a few videos under my belt, I'll put it up and you can all bask in my humble beginnings.
Countdown to the show... T-Minus 19 Days...
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
New & Improved!
I don't know if anyone's noticed, but my blog's address has been www.promisenottolaugh.com for a week or so now. My awesome sister bought me the domain for my birthday. Thanks Sheree!
And because of the change to an actual domain, I thought I should at least try to put a little bit of a personal touch on the page while I try to figure out exactly what I'm gonna do with it. I figure now it's a little snazzier than the boring BlogSpot template I was using. I mean, it's still a boring BlogSpot template, but now it has a colour scheme and a banner I made all by myself! I can also write "boobs" on my calculator!
I'm sure there'll be a much more thorough overhaul in the future. Consider this version 1.1 with a 2.0 in the works. The black and yellow scheme simply means "Under Construction".
And because of the change to an actual domain, I thought I should at least try to put a little bit of a personal touch on the page while I try to figure out exactly what I'm gonna do with it. I figure now it's a little snazzier than the boring BlogSpot template I was using. I mean, it's still a boring BlogSpot template, but now it has a colour scheme and a banner I made all by myself! I can also write "boobs" on my calculator!
I'm sure there'll be a much more thorough overhaul in the future. Consider this version 1.1 with a 2.0 in the works. The black and yellow scheme simply means "Under Construction".
Monday, May 4, 2009
Week 7
Last night, after almost exactly a month off, I had a comedy workshop. It was fairly uneventful, but I did have a fun little encounter on the way there. More on that later.
I spent most of the afternoon before the class fine tuning my material and rehearsing it over and over. It was probably the most I'd concentrated on my work since I started. After such a long hiatus, I wanted to return with a bit of a bang. We needed between 4 and 5 minutes of material and after working on it for a couple months, I figured it should be getting pretty close to what we're going to perform. And I also tried something I'd never thought of before. I brought my tape recorder and hit record before taking the stage. I can't believe I never thought of something that simple before. Just goes to show that even though I'm learning, I'm still an idiot.
Having listened back to my set a few times, it's amazing the things you don't notice when you're on stage. Sometimes the tone of my voice isn't even close to what I think it should be. Other times there's scattered laughter where I really don't remember there being any and vice versa. I've picked up a couple words that I need to pronounce a little better and words I should emphasize more. I think I learned more by recording myself, with an audience, than anything else I've done so far.
After my set I got the usual thumbs up from Joey. His only criticism this time was that I was playing with the mic cord. Each time I've gone up I've done something different with the mic. This time I put the stand aside and realized I was playing with the cord a little while I was doing it. I was just trying to get comfortable when I wasn't using my other hand. Apparently that's not a good thing. Oh well. I'll keep it in mind.
I'm also glad to report that there was a very noticeable improvement in practically everyone else in the workshop. It had been a month since I'd seen them and it was obvious we had all been practicing and honing our routine. That was really nice to see. Even the people I thought would really struggle have started coming into their own.
Someone also took pictures and recorded our sets on a video camera. I think we'll get a DVD copy next workshop. Here's a picture of me in the meantime...
Next week is, sigh, another off week because of Mother's Day. Then it's two more workshops and the big show. On the 17th we're getting some one-on-one time with Joey, which I'm really looking forward to. He hasn't been very specific or critical of anything I've done and I've never known quite how to take that. Getting a good 10 minutes alone to just pick his brain on everything I have is gonna be fun. He warned us that he'll be playing the role of Simon Cowell. I think I need a good kick in the ass. My jokes are decent, but I still think it needs a lot of work.
Now, here's what happened on the way there. I'd been psyching myself up all afternoon and was really in the zone when I got off the bus a block away from the club. For anyone who knows Montreal, it was the corner of Sherbrooke and Atwater. And then I heard someone yell "Excuse me! Excuse me, can you please help me?" from the bus shelter. It was an older lady in distress. She was sitting on the bench and holding crutches. Being the good samaritan, I walked over to see if I could lend her a hand.
Lady: "Oh, sir! Please help me! I've, I've lost a contact lens. And... I was just dropped off here and I don't have my transport pass... Can you believe someone did this to me? I'm a student at McGill, I'm in psychology! I've never even heard of anything like this! I'm sorry if I start crying..."
Jesse: "I'm sorry ma'am, is there anything I can do?"
She was clearly in need of help but also very insane. I thought she'd just ask for money, I could say no and walk away.
Lady: "I need to get somewhere by 7... is it 7 PM yet? Oh god, I can't believe this... can you help me to the corner and help me hail a ride?"
Jesse: "Oh, sure. Like a cab?"
Lady: "No, no, I don't have any money... I'm sure someone will help me, I mean, look at me, how could anyone do this? I'm a PhD student!"
Jesse: "Uh, alright, I can do that."
So she stands up very slowly. I put my arm under hers very slowly and she shuffles towards the corner of the street very slowly. But not without criticizing how I'm helping her. "You don't have to hold me up you know, I can stand just find! Just keep your arm under mine! You're taller than me, it hurts if you try to hold me up!" Alright then.
She asks a man walking by us if he's driving anywhere. He says no, he's walking. She yells him the rest of her story for no particular reason while he keeps walking away. Yup. Definitely crazy.
We get to the corner and she asks me to tap the window of a car that is stopped at the light. She yells at them giving her spiel about losing the contact lens and not having a bus pass. They say no and laugh as they drive off. "Did you see that? Those fucking assholes were laughing? Who would laugh at me? They think it's funny... what if it happened to them? Can you fucking believe that?"
At this point I'm starting to get a little impatient. It's 7:05 PM and all I can think of is a way to get out of this without basically dropping this old lady onto the sidewalk. Then a man comes over to me...
Man: "Hey, let me guess, she said she lives in the West Island and she needs money to get home? I gave her $20 last week and have seen her at this corner twice since then. Don't give her anything."
Lady: "Who the fuck are you? I've never seen you before in my life! Don't lie to him, he's just helping me! Look at me, they left me here like this and I lost a contact lens!"
Man: "Dude, just so you know, she's scamming you."
Jesse: "Thanks, I'll be fine."
Lady: "I've never seen that man before, why would he say that to you? Fucking asshole, trying to scare you away like that."
And now, a police car stops at the red light...
Jesse: "Oh look, a police car, they ca-"
Lady: "NO! No, don't even look at them! Don't fucking look at them or get their attention!"
Jesse: [trying not to smile] "Why? They can probably help."
Lady: "No, they'll arrest me."
Jesse: [laughing] "Why?"
Lady: "Because, it's illegal in Montreal to ask for a ride."
Jesse: [stiffling laughter] "Well, under these circumstances I think they could make an excep-"
Lady: [angry] "NO! Please, please do not look at them. Just forget them."
The next car I stop again drives away, but this time I try to take over the talking. She does not like that.
Lady: "Can I ask you something? Please DO NOT talk to them! You'll scare them away, they'll think it's a scam!"
Jesse: "Actually, I think they'd listen to me more than you."
Lady: "No, they'll think we're related and that it's a scam! Please, please, please, don't say anything!"
Jesse : "But you're clearly frustrated and distraught, I think it'd hel-"
Lady: "DON'T TALK TO THEM!"
Jesse: [laughing a little again] "I'll try not to."
By this point, it's been over 10 minutes and my arm is still under hers. As badly as I wanted to get the hell out of there, I couldn't bring myself to just leave her in hysterics, barely able to stand on the corner of the sidewalk. And then a car stops at the red, but in the lane furthest away from us. She asks if I can run across to tap his window so she could talk. She says she'll be fine if I leave her standing there. Free! Free at last!
I run across to the guy, tap the window and start mentally planning my apology to her for leaving when he drives away. But no. This guy actually says he'll help. So he pulls across the lane, cutting through traffic now that the light is green, nearly causing an accident right beside me. He opens the passenger door and I help load her into the car. Meanwhile at least two cars are honking behind him and each time there's a honk, she yells and swears at them.
Just as I close the door, she thanks me and says "You know, if I was in Ottawa the first person would have picked me up!". And the driver immediately says "I am from Ottawa!". I closed the door and walked away briskly while hearing the car peel through the intersection on a yellow light.
I walked into class 15 minutes late and had completely forgotten my entire set. Fucking Ottawa.
I spent most of the afternoon before the class fine tuning my material and rehearsing it over and over. It was probably the most I'd concentrated on my work since I started. After such a long hiatus, I wanted to return with a bit of a bang. We needed between 4 and 5 minutes of material and after working on it for a couple months, I figured it should be getting pretty close to what we're going to perform. And I also tried something I'd never thought of before. I brought my tape recorder and hit record before taking the stage. I can't believe I never thought of something that simple before. Just goes to show that even though I'm learning, I'm still an idiot.
Having listened back to my set a few times, it's amazing the things you don't notice when you're on stage. Sometimes the tone of my voice isn't even close to what I think it should be. Other times there's scattered laughter where I really don't remember there being any and vice versa. I've picked up a couple words that I need to pronounce a little better and words I should emphasize more. I think I learned more by recording myself, with an audience, than anything else I've done so far.
After my set I got the usual thumbs up from Joey. His only criticism this time was that I was playing with the mic cord. Each time I've gone up I've done something different with the mic. This time I put the stand aside and realized I was playing with the cord a little while I was doing it. I was just trying to get comfortable when I wasn't using my other hand. Apparently that's not a good thing. Oh well. I'll keep it in mind.
I'm also glad to report that there was a very noticeable improvement in practically everyone else in the workshop. It had been a month since I'd seen them and it was obvious we had all been practicing and honing our routine. That was really nice to see. Even the people I thought would really struggle have started coming into their own.
Someone also took pictures and recorded our sets on a video camera. I think we'll get a DVD copy next workshop. Here's a picture of me in the meantime...
Next week is, sigh, another off week because of Mother's Day. Then it's two more workshops and the big show. On the 17th we're getting some one-on-one time with Joey, which I'm really looking forward to. He hasn't been very specific or critical of anything I've done and I've never known quite how to take that. Getting a good 10 minutes alone to just pick his brain on everything I have is gonna be fun. He warned us that he'll be playing the role of Simon Cowell. I think I need a good kick in the ass. My jokes are decent, but I still think it needs a lot of work.
Now, here's what happened on the way there. I'd been psyching myself up all afternoon and was really in the zone when I got off the bus a block away from the club. For anyone who knows Montreal, it was the corner of Sherbrooke and Atwater. And then I heard someone yell "Excuse me! Excuse me, can you please help me?" from the bus shelter. It was an older lady in distress. She was sitting on the bench and holding crutches. Being the good samaritan, I walked over to see if I could lend her a hand.
Lady: "Oh, sir! Please help me! I've, I've lost a contact lens. And... I was just dropped off here and I don't have my transport pass... Can you believe someone did this to me? I'm a student at McGill, I'm in psychology! I've never even heard of anything like this! I'm sorry if I start crying..."
Jesse: "I'm sorry ma'am, is there anything I can do?"
She was clearly in need of help but also very insane. I thought she'd just ask for money, I could say no and walk away.
Lady: "I need to get somewhere by 7... is it 7 PM yet? Oh god, I can't believe this... can you help me to the corner and help me hail a ride?"
Jesse: "Oh, sure. Like a cab?"
Lady: "No, no, I don't have any money... I'm sure someone will help me, I mean, look at me, how could anyone do this? I'm a PhD student!"
Jesse: "Uh, alright, I can do that."
So she stands up very slowly. I put my arm under hers very slowly and she shuffles towards the corner of the street very slowly. But not without criticizing how I'm helping her. "You don't have to hold me up you know, I can stand just find! Just keep your arm under mine! You're taller than me, it hurts if you try to hold me up!" Alright then.
She asks a man walking by us if he's driving anywhere. He says no, he's walking. She yells him the rest of her story for no particular reason while he keeps walking away. Yup. Definitely crazy.
We get to the corner and she asks me to tap the window of a car that is stopped at the light. She yells at them giving her spiel about losing the contact lens and not having a bus pass. They say no and laugh as they drive off. "Did you see that? Those fucking assholes were laughing? Who would laugh at me? They think it's funny... what if it happened to them? Can you fucking believe that?"
At this point I'm starting to get a little impatient. It's 7:05 PM and all I can think of is a way to get out of this without basically dropping this old lady onto the sidewalk. Then a man comes over to me...
Man: "Hey, let me guess, she said she lives in the West Island and she needs money to get home? I gave her $20 last week and have seen her at this corner twice since then. Don't give her anything."
Lady: "Who the fuck are you? I've never seen you before in my life! Don't lie to him, he's just helping me! Look at me, they left me here like this and I lost a contact lens!"
Man: "Dude, just so you know, she's scamming you."
Jesse: "Thanks, I'll be fine."
Lady: "I've never seen that man before, why would he say that to you? Fucking asshole, trying to scare you away like that."
And now, a police car stops at the red light...
Jesse: "Oh look, a police car, they ca-"
Lady: "NO! No, don't even look at them! Don't fucking look at them or get their attention!"
Jesse: [trying not to smile] "Why? They can probably help."
Lady: "No, they'll arrest me."
Jesse: [laughing] "Why?"
Lady: "Because, it's illegal in Montreal to ask for a ride."
Jesse: [stiffling laughter] "Well, under these circumstances I think they could make an excep-"
Lady: [angry] "NO! Please, please do not look at them. Just forget them."
The next car I stop again drives away, but this time I try to take over the talking. She does not like that.
Lady: "Can I ask you something? Please DO NOT talk to them! You'll scare them away, they'll think it's a scam!"
Jesse: "Actually, I think they'd listen to me more than you."
Lady: "No, they'll think we're related and that it's a scam! Please, please, please, don't say anything!"
Jesse : "But you're clearly frustrated and distraught, I think it'd hel-"
Lady: "DON'T TALK TO THEM!"
Jesse: [laughing a little again] "I'll try not to."
By this point, it's been over 10 minutes and my arm is still under hers. As badly as I wanted to get the hell out of there, I couldn't bring myself to just leave her in hysterics, barely able to stand on the corner of the sidewalk. And then a car stops at the red, but in the lane furthest away from us. She asks if I can run across to tap his window so she could talk. She says she'll be fine if I leave her standing there. Free! Free at last!
I run across to the guy, tap the window and start mentally planning my apology to her for leaving when he drives away. But no. This guy actually says he'll help. So he pulls across the lane, cutting through traffic now that the light is green, nearly causing an accident right beside me. He opens the passenger door and I help load her into the car. Meanwhile at least two cars are honking behind him and each time there's a honk, she yells and swears at them.
Just as I close the door, she thanks me and says "You know, if I was in Ottawa the first person would have picked me up!". And the driver immediately says "I am from Ottawa!". I closed the door and walked away briskly while hearing the car peel through the intersection on a yellow light.
I walked into class 15 minutes late and had completely forgotten my entire set. Fucking Ottawa.
Friday, May 1, 2009
One-Liners
I've always had a soft spot for comedians who go up and just fire off one-liners. Demetri Martin is growing more popular by the minute. Anthony Jeselnik still seems to be relatively unknown, but that can't last much longer. Rodney Dangerfield would have gotten no respect at all if it weren't for one-liners.
I believe it was Shakespeare that once said "Brevity is the soul of wit." Having read his work, I don't think he practiced what he preached, but he was on to something. A one-liner may be the ultimate form of stand-up comedy, if not the purest. To get a laugh out of a single, stand alone sentence can't be topped, in my opinion. They might not have quite the same payoff as a longer story with a huge punchline, but one-liners are often the jokes that you remember afterward. They'll get repeated amongst friends and quoted.
I believe it was Shakespeare that once said "Brevity is the soul of wit." Having read his work, I don't think he practiced what he preached, but he was on to something. A one-liner may be the ultimate form of stand-up comedy, if not the purest. To get a laugh out of a single, stand alone sentence can't be topped, in my opinion. They might not have quite the same payoff as a longer story with a huge punchline, but one-liners are often the jokes that you remember afterward. They'll get repeated amongst friends and quoted.
Since I've started writing the past couple months, I've been trying to come up with a few of my own and it's effing hard. All together I've written about 12-15 that are ready to go, with a few that probably need some major tweaking. And today, I wrote one that I think is my best so far. Because of my obsession with this, I'm finding it hard to concentrate on the work I've already developed for our show. All I'm thinking about is adding new ones to the list. Once I've got 5 minutes worth, I'll give them a shot and see if they get the reactions I feel they should. Might as well try everything to see what feels right.
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