This clip combines my love of sports with my love of Norm MacDonald. And my love of awkward audience reactions. Ken Griffey Jr, I'm looking at you.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Cerebral? Really?
After moving in with my girlfriend, getting a dog and going to weddings almost every weekend for about two months, my summer is finally slowing down a little. And to celebrate, I went to an open mic last Monday.
I hadn't really prepared much for it. It was the first time that I wasn't using any new jokes and I just cobbled together 5 minutes from stuff I'd already written and performed, hoping to put together a real strong set. Whether I accomplished that or not is up for debate.
Here's the thing... considering the prep I put into it, I was remarkably comfortable on stage. I thought I was smooth, composed and had a good rhythm going. I didn't fuck anything up and never stuttered. I even ad libbed a little, which I had never done before. It felt pretty good. But for whatever reason, the crowd wasn't digging me at all. I have a joke about birds becoming religious terrorists because they've learned how to take down planes. Hell, since it seems like any video of me is on a permanent hiatus, here it goes...
"I don't like birds, but I do like foreigners... which is a little confusing, since they're both friendly, everywhere and have learned how to take down planes... In one fell swoop, birds have become religious terrorists. You see, they've always been the animal closest to God... and now they want the sky back. Apparently, a 747 is no match for a flock of suicidal seagulls. I know, I know... I shouldn't joke about that. I mean, birds are dumb, but even they don't believe in God."
I like that joke, I think it's pretty strong and has gotten a good reaction each time so far. This time, it was only a couple laughs from the back. I was frustrated and quipped "You guys read the news, right? You know that birds took down a plane? -silence- Of course you do, you're an educated crowd." At another point there was a lonely Nelson Muntz-esque "Ha-HA" after a joke and immediately mocked the laugh and said "I don't need your pity laughs." So yeah, didn't go as well as I hoped. I didn't come close to bombing, but my favourite jokes didn't go over.
After I walked back a couple other comics said they liked it. One even said "I think your stuff was a little too cerebral for this crowd." I didn't think so, until a guy who went up after me and started with this joke.
"So I take the bus a lot, right? And you know what happens on the bus, people ask for your seat. So this old lady comes up to me and asks if she can have my seat. Of course, I do what anyone would do, I said 'Shut up you old bitch and sit on the floor!!!" [uproarious laughter] Anyways, I guess I just have to continue to find my audience, because a crowd that laughs at that certainly is not it.
As for the shameful lack of activity on this blog, I've been having a hard time thinking of things to write about. At first it was easy since I was taking classes every week and had plenty of stuff to cover. But now, unless I'm going up on stage all the time (which I suppose I should be doing) I find myself with little to impart your way. One idea I've had is to start reviewing comedy albums, like a music critic. Like, one a month or week something. I dunno... just something to keep this thing going and make sure I am writing. I could easily write about 10 reviews of albums I already listen to, so it seems logical and hopefully even entertaining.
Until then, go back and read some old posts. Maybe you missed a joke or two. They're like leftover chili. Always better the second time around.
I hadn't really prepared much for it. It was the first time that I wasn't using any new jokes and I just cobbled together 5 minutes from stuff I'd already written and performed, hoping to put together a real strong set. Whether I accomplished that or not is up for debate.
Here's the thing... considering the prep I put into it, I was remarkably comfortable on stage. I thought I was smooth, composed and had a good rhythm going. I didn't fuck anything up and never stuttered. I even ad libbed a little, which I had never done before. It felt pretty good. But for whatever reason, the crowd wasn't digging me at all. I have a joke about birds becoming religious terrorists because they've learned how to take down planes. Hell, since it seems like any video of me is on a permanent hiatus, here it goes...
"I don't like birds, but I do like foreigners... which is a little confusing, since they're both friendly, everywhere and have learned how to take down planes... In one fell swoop, birds have become religious terrorists. You see, they've always been the animal closest to God... and now they want the sky back. Apparently, a 747 is no match for a flock of suicidal seagulls. I know, I know... I shouldn't joke about that. I mean, birds are dumb, but even they don't believe in God."
I like that joke, I think it's pretty strong and has gotten a good reaction each time so far. This time, it was only a couple laughs from the back. I was frustrated and quipped "You guys read the news, right? You know that birds took down a plane? -silence- Of course you do, you're an educated crowd." At another point there was a lonely Nelson Muntz-esque "Ha-HA" after a joke and immediately mocked the laugh and said "I don't need your pity laughs." So yeah, didn't go as well as I hoped. I didn't come close to bombing, but my favourite jokes didn't go over.
After I walked back a couple other comics said they liked it. One even said "I think your stuff was a little too cerebral for this crowd." I didn't think so, until a guy who went up after me and started with this joke.
"So I take the bus a lot, right? And you know what happens on the bus, people ask for your seat. So this old lady comes up to me and asks if she can have my seat. Of course, I do what anyone would do, I said 'Shut up you old bitch and sit on the floor!!!" [uproarious laughter] Anyways, I guess I just have to continue to find my audience, because a crowd that laughs at that certainly is not it.
As for the shameful lack of activity on this blog, I've been having a hard time thinking of things to write about. At first it was easy since I was taking classes every week and had plenty of stuff to cover. But now, unless I'm going up on stage all the time (which I suppose I should be doing) I find myself with little to impart your way. One idea I've had is to start reviewing comedy albums, like a music critic. Like, one a month or week something. I dunno... just something to keep this thing going and make sure I am writing. I could easily write about 10 reviews of albums I already listen to, so it seems logical and hopefully even entertaining.
Until then, go back and read some old posts. Maybe you missed a joke or two. They're like leftover chili. Always better the second time around.
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